“Move! Get out the way, get out the way! Move!” ~ Ludacris
On August 29, I did a photoshoot. Not one of those where you stand in front of a neutral-colored wall in your house while someone takes several shots of you with a camera phone. Nope. This photoshoot was the real deal – a full hour in makeup with a professional stylist, multiple clothing changes, choosing backgrounds and settings, poses and freeform shooting, all with soulful R&B music playing in the background. From start to finish, the photo session was nearly 5 hours long! But wait, there’s more. Actually, it’s more accurate to say that there was lots of preparation leading up to the photoshoot: consultation with the photographer; selecting outfits; selecting items to use in staging during the shoot that helps communicate the brand I want to establish; an appointment with my hairstylist the day before the shoot.
This was my first time ever doing something like this and those of you who’ve had this experience will hopefully cut me a little slack for being a newbie. Even though you can probably calculate the number of hours I invested before and during the shoot based on the little bit of whining you just read, you’d be way off. Because this doesn’t say anything about the time I spent worrying and second-guessing everything from the outfits I selected (and reselected and reselected again) to the decision to invest in a professionally executed photoshoot at all.
And why was I taking this huge step anyway? Aha! Now we’re approaching root cause. Did I even have enough information to have made such a big decision? What was I thinking?!
Hello. My name is Paula, and I’m a perfectionist.
My natural tendency is to want to have as much information as possible and to be as prepared as possible before I make big decisions or take actions that could affect how my family and I live. As a licensed engineer, I am called to “hold paramount the safety, health, and welfare of the public”, and I carry that level of intensity into nearly everything I do. See? Natural tendency + academic preparation + professional credentialing + workplace experience = ain’t moving until I know everything.
Interestingly enough, the decision to add executive coaching and organizational development to my consulting practice wasn’t a hard one. In fact, it evolved from requests from clients, encouragement from many who observed talent in me, my thirst to understand why incredibly talented and skilled people often miss out on achieving their full potential and my drive to figure out how I could help them. Deciding to do a thing and doing that thing are two different, uh, things. It’s all about execution and, like ogres, execution has layers.
If I could just coach and consult, all would be perfect. However, I’m a business owner with clients who rightly expect a consistently high level of professionalism. Also, reaching my target audiences requires a platform that effectively communicates the PE Miles Group brand and the services we offer. That website is the platform’s foundation and that website required photos. And blog posts. And white papers. And other stuff. And all that requires research and consultations and editing and refreshing and…..
I was stuck.
Coaching and consulting are at the sweet spot of my purpose and personal mission statement (that’s another blog post). But all those other layers of execution are critical to amplifying the impact of my service to others through coaching and consulting. But, there I sat, like Shrek in the swamp. Why?
In her book, What’s Really Holding You Back?, Valorie Burton writes that even those who know their purpose and recognize their path often appear to be paralyzed, unable to make progress toward their goals. It’s as if “an invisible force seems to be holding them back”.
What was this invisible force pulling on me? Fear.
Fear of the unknown (what the heck am I doing with a website? I don’t know enough about it!).
Fear of the what might happen (what if no one comes to the website? What if those who do come to the website don’t like what they see?)
Fear that I’m moving too quickly (Am I prepared enough to take this step? Should I wait until I’ve done more research?)
Win Borden, a lawyer and politician who wrote the book Ruminations: Memories and Tales of a Furrowed Mind, said “If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything.”
Plainly speaking, if I intended to serve others at the level that I felt called to do, I had to get out of my own way. That meant committing to some things without having every last shred of information and data available to analyze first. That meant allowing proven professionals serve me by doing what they already do imminently better than I could even dream of doing myself. That meant trusting my gut. That meant getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
I took the photos. I’m writing the blog post. I’m trusting that people will come to the website and see something that interests them, hits a nerve, inspires a question.
As a recovering perfectionist, I know that I’ll have fears again. But I’m going to give myself permission to be imperfect. To be less than certain when making some decisions. To feel the fear and do it anyway. To get comfortable with being uncomfortable. It won’t be easy, and I probably won’t always be successful breaking through that invisible forcefield. What I know for sure, though, is that forward motion for me won’t continue if I let fear hold me back.
What’s keeping you from taking that next step, big or little? I’d love to hear about it.